[for kat]

[formicine]

Blue has never been much for birthday parties. This year, thinking about who she'd even invite if she had one just seems like a recipe for throwing a notebook at the wall or crying in the kitchen, but it also seems like a year to celebrate making it through -- for Kat, too, honestly. With a few weeks left before school starts, weather muggy but getting cooler and breezy, it seems like a good time to just relax.

She'd texted Kat as the birthday girl, i have decreed that we're treating ourselves with a picture of a couple bottles of rose she'd then brought home, and every intent to order absolute trash food and the most ridiculous that Filmfix has to offer and get cuddles.

Comments

[formicine]

Kat seems almost amused, or at least curious, by her hesitancy, and Blue's not entirely sure she needs to be careful, she just -- doesn't want to go around prying into everyone's business.

That's what she does, though. She'd blame it on being the scion of a psychic family, but it's more her own impatience and curiosity. She pries. She turns things over. Especially when it comes to people she also wants to know everything about, and oh, she hasn't really thought about it like that before, but there it is.

"At the gym, there's been this girl coming in to do like -- strength training? Physical therapy, flexibility, that kind of stuff," she says, and waves her glass a little. "I guess I noticed because it was a little different than some of the other workouts, so I talked to her a little, and, she's a dancer."

Her cheeks feel hot, which is stupid, and she sets her head on her arm and looks up at Kat. "She had her whole kneecap removed last year, and she has to do a ton of PT but she's going back to dancing. And -- well, I couldn't help but think of you. That maybe there are ways even if it's not, you know, lead ballerina--" Blue trails off, hopefully and also self-conscious.


[OOC: Lol this is SO LATE. SO LATE. I would completely understand if you need to drop this thread, though I would like more Kat and Blue soon -- maybe talking about demons, bleh? -- if so!]

[swerved]

Kat is quiet for a moment — not upset, and very deliberately so, but just introspective, turning that over in her head. On one hand, it probably ought to be common sense. People have had bad injuries and come back from them before. She knows herself, too, and her defeatist tendencies. With her first injury, the car accident, she was convinced without ever trying to do otherwise that her career was over and everything she'd worked for had been rendered obsolete. She thinks that is, in part, why she reacted to the second one the way she did. She'd just started to feel something resembling hopeful again, and then lost it in the span of seconds. The first, there might have been a chance she could come back from, but a second, there just couldn't be any way. She never even let herself consider it.

She's still hesitant to now, but she likes the idea, the thought behind it. "I miss it," she admits, because certainly, there can't be any harm in that. "Even though it feels like forever ago now..."

With a lopsided little smile, she adds, "And you're not out of line, I promise."

[formicine]

Blue watches Kat's reaction -- she doesn't look upset, and it makes sense that she'd be thoughtful, and lets herself try to settle in her head while Kat mulls it. She smiles, though, a little relieved, when Kat assures her she's not out of line.

"I'm sure it does," she says, nodding. "And I think it's good that it's not who you are, in a way? That no one thing is, for either of us, I mean. But I can tell you miss it, the way you talk sometimes, and I just --"

She returns the sideways smile. "I want you to be happy, whether that means dancing or not, you know?"

[swerved]

If she's honest with herself, Kat isn't actually sure what that would look like for her. Not in a super depressing way — she's moved out of that phase, at least — but just in a straightforward way. She had one thing she loved for all her life, one path she pursued. Even if she had the work done that would be needed to make it possible to dance again, she doesn't know if she could ever get back to where she was. Doing it purely as a hobby might help, but she's had such a hard time finding something she wants to do in the absence of dance, not sure what might satisfy her the same way.

Then, of course, she can't help but wonder if she's selfish for wanting that at all when so many people don't get that; they just get jobs to get by. Maybe she doesn't need a calling. It's hard, though, to go from having one to not.

"Yeah, I get you," she says, smile still in place. "I think I'll always miss it, too. No matter what happens, you know? There'll always be that... might have been."