"I should -- what, just pick him?" Blue asks quietly, tipping her head. It feels oddly like a punch to the gut. Both because it sounds really passive aggressive, but also because she does love Ellie, and if it's not passive aggressive, if it's serious, Ellie deserves better than to just say she's not worth it. That's why Blue is saying all this at all. Because she deserves better than to not feel like she's wanted.

But then she keeps going and she finds herself getting a little angry. "Do I know what, who I would choose if I had to? That's fucked up, Ellie. I can't choose not to have thoughts. I'm not with Gansey, I'm not like -- fucking Gansey or something. I'm with you, no matter how complicated that is. That is a choice I made." She can still remember screaming at Ronan; it's still something that hasn't been totally forgiven, and now it feels like the whole thing was some sort of ridiculous farce.

"I can't choose not to have feelings. Hell, Gansey came straight from a place where I was dating him, and he never even asked me to choose like that." She can feel tears pricking her eyes, but this time they're angry tears and she can't even help it.