No, it wasn't everything fucked up. The Purge was just good old fashioned people being awful; maybe it would have been better if that had been the demon too. If Blue had been thinking more clearly, she'd have phrased it better: the problem was, it had started before the Purge. Aurora had been here in what seemed like such a windfall, and then died in some sort of rotting gore; Cabeswater had disintegrated, the dream objects and the animals had gone bad, Magnus' powers had gone haywire and nearly killed Alec, her own hadn't been working. The Purge had almost seemed like some natural conclusion of the interior violence spreading outwards from Cabeswater, as though people's minds were all rotting into something violent and dark too.

But they weren't. They were just like that.

And she wasn't forced by some demon to kiss Gansey. She was just like that, too, and that was the problem.

"No," she says, and sits down on the arm of the chair, looking at her hands. "No, I. I just kissed him." Her face is hot, and she feels a little sick. "I thought he was dead and I just --" It hadn't exactly been making out.

Kissing him wasn't even the problem.

"The forest wanted -- something. We didn't know what. I told it it could have anything." Her voice shakes a little. "It took our power. Adam's connection to Cabeswater, and my ability to charge up supernatural things, and Noah's -- body, sort of. I told it it could have anything and that's what it wanted." It could have killed her; she realizes. Maybe she'd realized that then, but she hadn't cared, her fate coming so drastically to fruition in front of her eyes. It basically re-killed Noah, because of the way Noah had gone about it.

She stares at the space just in front of Ellie's feet, guiltily. "I didn't even think."