Was he not with Kavinsky? Blue's eyes narrow, trying to read him, crossing her arms in the wake of the clouds that roll in and drop the temperature.
"When I asked him what happened, that's what Adam said. Almost literally."
She chews on her lip, taking that in; he's not wrong about what Darrow represents to them. It's maybe a little ironic, she thinks selfishly, that Adam, who has maybe the most set goals about what he wants to do with his life now that he's stuck in Darrow -- the best idea of what to do with a place he can't get out of -- is the one everyone's worried about. Gansey, Ronan, herself -- they're the ones that are struggling because their goals don't exist. College for her is just as meaningless here as it is in Henrietta; she can probably get a scholarship here, too, but she still can't get into a program that will let her see the world. Gansey doesn't have Glendower to resurrect. Ronan doesn't have the Barns or their quest to help with.
Adam at least, has college to cross off the list: early graduation, an aspirational lifestyle. His history neatly erased. He'd told her as much.
But he hadn't wanted that like he wanted Ronan.
"He wasn't home," she says, unnecessary and perhaps a little cruel. Blue looks back up at him after a minute and spreads her hands. "Why did you let him think so, then? If you just -- wanted him to get to go home, when you found out he wasn't, why the hell would you let him think that you were -- That you didn't care?? That what he wanted didn't matter?"
The sky opens up with a crack, and she jumps, but doesn't back away as the trees turn their leaves silver-side up and Cabeswater lets loose in a thunderstorm. "You'd like that, wouldn't you, not having to listen to me" she snaps, letting herself get soaked in the physical manifestation of Ronan's anger. Her hair is sticking to her face; her tunic is immediately sodden through, and she lifts her chin, squinting in the sheets of rain through at him.
An irrational part of her thinks the guitar's going to get ruined.
"I came here because I do know you better than that," Blue protests. "Because I couldn't believe you'd swap out Adam for Kavinsky. If I thought -- if I realy thought you'd chosen, I'd have written you off already." Her jaw is set. She hates Kavinsky; hates him, as much for Ronan's panicked face when he and Gansey stepped into Fox Way on July 4th as for the countless sins against her gender he commits just by existing or for specifically making her uncomfortable. "You want to believe you're so poor and misunderstood, then tell me how to understand. But I came looking for the Ronan Lynch I know, because he cares about the damn collateral."
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"When I asked him what happened, that's what Adam said. Almost literally."
She chews on her lip, taking that in; he's not wrong about what Darrow represents to them. It's maybe a little ironic, she thinks selfishly, that Adam, who has maybe the most set goals about what he wants to do with his life now that he's stuck in Darrow -- the best idea of what to do with a place he can't get out of -- is the one everyone's worried about. Gansey, Ronan, herself -- they're the ones that are struggling because their goals don't exist. College for her is just as meaningless here as it is in Henrietta; she can probably get a scholarship here, too, but she still can't get into a program that will let her see the world. Gansey doesn't have Glendower to resurrect. Ronan doesn't have the Barns or their quest to help with.
Adam at least, has college to cross off the list: early graduation, an aspirational lifestyle. His history neatly erased. He'd told her as much.
But he hadn't wanted that like he wanted Ronan.
"He wasn't home," she says, unnecessary and perhaps a little cruel. Blue looks back up at him after a minute and spreads her hands. "Why did you let him think so, then? If you just -- wanted him to get to go home, when you found out he wasn't, why the hell would you let him think that you were -- That you didn't care?? That what he wanted didn't matter?"
The sky opens up with a crack, and she jumps, but doesn't back away as the trees turn their leaves silver-side up and Cabeswater lets loose in a thunderstorm. "You'd like that, wouldn't you, not having to listen to me" she snaps, letting herself get soaked in the physical manifestation of Ronan's anger. Her hair is sticking to her face; her tunic is immediately sodden through, and she lifts her chin, squinting in the sheets of rain through at him.
An irrational part of her thinks the guitar's going to get ruined.
"I came here because I do know you better than that," Blue protests. "Because I couldn't believe you'd swap out Adam for Kavinsky. If I thought -- if I realy thought you'd chosen, I'd have written you off already." Her jaw is set. She hates Kavinsky; hates him, as much for Ronan's panicked face when he and Gansey stepped into Fox Way on July 4th as for the countless sins against her gender he commits just by existing or for specifically making her uncomfortable. "You want to believe you're so poor and misunderstood, then tell me how to understand. But I came looking for the Ronan Lynch I know, because he cares about the damn collateral."